For the past decade, Wanstead Bereavement Café volunteers have offered tea, time, togetherness and a listening ear in a safe, welcoming space where people can share their grief
Bereavement. We all experience feelings of grief, and yet, when we’re in the thick of it, it can seem as if we’re the only person in the world who feels like this. It can cut you off at the knees, it can physically hurt, it can come out of nowhere, and it can feel like you’re never going to be the same again. And whilst we naturally think first about losing someone close to us, we can also feel grief at the loss of a precious pet, a job, friends moving away or perhaps a falling-out with family.
Grief hits all of us and in a variety of ways. Sometimes, it can help to chat. And chat with someone who’s not personally involved. It can perhaps make you breathe a bit easier to spend an hour with someone who can just accept where you’re at, listen and try to help you make sense of it. No judgement. No recommendations. No agenda for doing anything apart from offering a friendly listening ear over a cuppa and a biscuit.
The Wanstead Bereavement Café was founded in 2015. Since then, apart from during the period of the pandemic, it has been held in an accessible meeting room at Christ Church on Wanstead Place from 10.30am to 11.30am on the third Tuesday of each month. A group of four or five volunteers are ready to welcome people of all faiths or none. There is no charge and no need to book. (Our friends in South Woodford also run a bereavement café from 2pm to 3pm on the first Tuesday of each month at St Mary’s Church, Woodford.)
We’re not trained grief counsellors. We’re everyday people from Wanstead who’ve experienced our own sad times and are happy to share our experiences with others if asked to do so. Often, however, it is mainly a non-judgemental, non-threatening, listening ear that is needed. We’re just fellow human beings who are happy to stand alongside you for a bit or for as long as you need whilst you find a way forward.
Some people have only been bereaved recently, whilst others have been grieving for a long time. Some who come admit it’s easier to open up to strangers than to a family member or close friend. Some find sharing within a small group rather than one-to-one can be welcome. They may not be ready, or even able, to express their feelings, but are content just to sit and listen to others, knowing they are not alone in their grief. Tears are not uncommon and plenty of tissues are available. However, once the immediate release of emotions has passed and trust has been established, the atmosphere is relaxed and friendly, with laughter often lightening the tone. Some people only come to the café once, others become regulars, enjoying the group friendship. Feedback has been invariably positive.
Think this might help you? We’re looking forward to saying hello.
For more information, call 020 8530 8743 or email office@parishofwanstead.org
